QUITTING SMOKING!

OMFG what was I thinking quitting at a time like this. Well technically it was not my idea completely. I am going in for surgery tomorrow and well the Doc who is putting me under said I had to stop smoking Monday morning at 7am so here I am at 10am going nuts already.

I have no idea how I am going to make it through the next 24hrs till my surgery. Then I got the bright idea to just quit completely. Hello dumb right lol. Well let me enlighten you why this is such a bad time in my life to quit at least for another month or so.

Well my children sleep in the same room they are 4 and 2 yrs of age. The 2 yr old decides that it is a good time at bedtime to bug the holy hell out of his sister. I mean straight harass her. He gets in her bed stomps on her pillow lays ontop of her and basically does everything in his powers so she can't sleep. My daughter responds with screaming at the top of her lungs like someone is murdering her. It's wonderful.

The other reason this is a bad time is we just bought a house a little higher mortgage then we hoped for lmfao who am I kidding we bought a more expensive house then my parents have after being together for 20yrs hahahahahahaha lmfao.

Our move in date was supposed to be the end of August but let's face it that is too close to my daughter starting school again. So we are gonna try to have everything packed in less then a month plus paperwork plus my surgery all in 4 weeks.

So now I am trying to make my life more miserable for the next month by trying to quit smoking lmfao what the hell was I thinking. Let's face it bad time to quit smoking. My girlfriend is trying to convince me that any time in life is a bad time cause she quit smoking a little while ago and she is doing awesome but still damn it I don't wanna quit anymore.

Ok I think I am having an official mental breakdown. I wanna crawl out of my skin I wanna scream and jump and run around the room. Fuckin' Doc and his advice to stop smoking 24hrs before surgery what the hell is wrong with him. Damn him and his anti-smoking campaign.

I hate everyone right now. In fact I am fighting with my best friend of 15yrs on msn lmfao bout quitting. Ok we aren't really fighting but damn it she is right I know it but at the same time I wanna punch her in the face lol.

Ok I guess I will be blogging more again since I have something to say. I will let you all know how my surgery went. Oh ya I forgot, I am getting a tubal, for those not familiar it is where I get my tubes burnt shut so I can't have anymore kids. Yeahhhh I got two one girl one boy and that is good with me and hubby too. I told hubby if he wanted another kid to let me know but he would have to want it desperately and I would have one more for him.

Well that is all for now I am sure I have more to say but I don't wanna say it all now and have nothing left tomorrow.

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I need to rant just a little bit. My husband was gone for 10days with work he was told he was coming back to work with his original crew etc and we figured he was working around the city so he could at least be home every night and sleep in his own bed.

So he came home late Wednesday night at 9:30pm he was back at work at 8:30am Thursday which was no big deal he was still scheduled to work another 10days in order to get his 4days off etc. He called me from work at around 11am and told me that he was leaving town again....TODAY.

Ok now I don't know if the ppl who schedule the crews around etc realize that half these ppl have families that at some point they would like to see them.

I freaked I was so mad that they sent him home only to 12hrs later send him away again. I was so mad that I even told him to quit his job lol ok I know a little irrational but hell I was mad.

So he's been gone two days, we are on day number three now and supposedly he's coming home. As much as I love my husband I don't want him home for him to only leave again. So I am trying not to get too excited that he's coming home tonight cause you never know.

On a lighter note my lil S is doing wonderful. She was diagnosed with Autistic Spectrum Disorder 1 month ago and we are so proud of the way she is doing in school. She is learning sign language to help her communicate as that is her big hurdle right now is Speech. So her Aid is learning sign language and she is picking it up wonderfully.

We are all so proud of her and she is speaking and signing all at the same time so she is doing great. I am meeting with an aid for the summer on Monday to see if she will be S aid for the summer month while there is no school to take her to day camp etc. and to work with her at home. We are still waiting on funding for her speech therapy and OT for the summer. Shouldn't be much longer now I assume we should have an answer soon.

Well other then that same old same old here. My life revolves around my kids there is little time for me. So it has gotten to the point where I rarely even blog anymore its sad cause I enjoyed it so much.

All those BE friends I have missed you all and I hope to be visiting BE chat soon ;)

I NEED INSPIRATION!

I have not blogged in over a week now. I said in my other blog that I would and well I haven't so there. I have lost all lack of "want" for blogging.

Also what is the link to Bits website I seem to have misplaced it unless it hasn't been updated in forever then forget it. The last thing I read on there was like 2months ago bout her rant on it being her page and she can do what she wants with it except obviously update it all the time LMFAO

Ok enough being mean even though I feel it running through my veins right now and I so wanna tell most of you ppl out there where to stick it and move on with my life but here I am blogging.
I guess I gotta get back into blogging somehow and I figured ranting bout all the shit that pisses me off was a good place to start.

I hate whinny bitches and assholes (oh we need a word for guys that is just as bad as "cunts" and "bitches" by the way any ideas?)

I hate ppl who are on such a high horse bout not paying attention to the "lurkers" that yet their entire life revolves around the "lurkers" and what their latest gossip is about you. If you really didn't give a shit you wouldn't talk bout them every time you post something on your fuckin blog. Let's face it ppl all those that don't know how to stop paying attention to "lurkers" you give a shit what they say otherwise you wouldn't respond to everything they say whether it be in chat or on a website ranting.

Oh for all those who think I am the "lurker" HAHAHAHAHAHA you are dumber then I thought you were for being in chat all the fuckin time. If I had as much time as all of you to spend freakin bout who is a "lurker" and who isn't then I would find a fuckin hobby more constructive but I don't. My daughter was diagnosed with autism a month ago and I have been way too busy. She started school and outside activities for the past 3months and I don't have time to play your childish games anymore.

I HAVE A LIFE!!! Get over it and move on. Anyone who knows me, knows that I can't lurk for the life of me as I tend to give myself away after the first conversation lol and I just don't have the energy to hide and be sneaky I would rather tell you from ME what I think of you.

Ok now for tater and missy.....tater did you not learn from the last time you were fucked over by a chat chick or do we all have to remind you of what happened with Molly. Not bad mouthing molly otherwise that would be a whole other rant lmafo jk but damn it tater the chick isn't even herself in those pictures. She's stuck all kinds of things up her crotch for ppl on cam who knows how often she's done this. Think bout what you are doing Missy is a slut and always has been.

Thats all for now that I have heard from chat lol just heard it through the grapevines ;)

I know ppl don't like what I have to say and that's fine then STOP READING!!! LMFAO