Of Course All Canadians Know Each Other

A Canadian Never Forgets A Face

Canadians greet each other with a handshake every time they meet.DOWNTOWN CANADA (thetoque.com)-- The boom-town country of Canada, stretching 9306 kilometres long, 4634 km wide, and a few kilometers deep, is home to 34 million people. And with the exception of a few landed immigrants, a couple dozen refugees, and a handful of not-so-permanent residents, they all know each other.

This boastful claim of memory retention isn't due to the fact that Canadians are naturally nosy people. While that is partially true, the consistently harsh Northern climate has created certain social necessities. It means that during the next raging blizzard, you might need to ask for an ice-saw or sled dog, and it's easier to borrow from friends than strangers. And when your snowmobile needs a jumpstart, it's comforting to know that the next person who sees you on the side of the snow-covered highway is an acquaintance.

Did you know that because of this Darwinian need for self-preservation, over the centuries Canadians have developed the inherent ability to remember everyone they've ever met? Whether it’s an introduction at a moose barbecue in Moose Jaw, a beaver roast in Bella Coola, or a caribou cookout in Cape Breton, Canadians will always remember a name, a face, and sometimes even an address if it doesn't have too many nines in it.

And when there are no formal introductions, names of family, friends, and acquaintances are passed down by Canadian wisewomen during informal evening ceremonies. Once committed to memory, a Canadian always knows that there is another brother or sister that they can count on to help them in a time of need.

Whether you need a flat tire repaired, a ride home from the pub, or a spare goalie in a beer league hockey match, strong traditions allow Canadians to develop closer bonds than the people from Greece, Lithuania, Upper Volta, Lower Volta, or any Volta in between.

This amazing gift for recollection most notably emerges when traveling Canadians visit foreign countries, like the United States of America. When an American meets another Canuck (what a coincidence that would be!) it only makes sense for the Yank to ask if they know the other Canadian they met two years ago on a golf course in Palm Springs. (note: Many Americans have met Canadians in person, know someone else who has, or at least read about them from the storybooks.)

You'd be forgiven if you thought it to be a mathematical impossibility to identify, let alone remember, one person in 34 million, but yes, Canadians do really know everyone in their own country!

"Why, of course I know Pete from Edmonton," a Canadian would respond when asked by a complete American stranger in Florida. "We’re good friends; we stay in touch. I met him on Polar Hunt Day back in 1995. Say, do you know any other Canadians? How about Rick from Toronto? Or Wayne from Hamilton? Oh, what about Dave in Vancouver--We went to school together!"