Monday, February 13, 2006
This is a story written for another contest (I know ppl just bare with me would ya this is what I got take it or leave it lol) mystickal Incense I hope you all enjoy this and if you don't...too bad it's posted till I post again.
It was a cold rainy day and Sarah was walking down the street looking in closed store shops wondering where her life was going. It was definitely not as she had planned at her young age of 27 she had planned to be married by 25 and have had started a family by now. Yet she was living in a one bedroom apartment alone (and it wasn't even that nice of an apartment) she had a few friend's from work other then that she had no one else.
She walked past a small Diner that had barely any lights on it was so dark and gloomy you almost could mistake it for being Closed. There was a shape sitting in a booth starring outside. She couldn't make out who it was but she noticed he was looking right at her. As soon as she realized it she quickly looked away, when out of the corner of her eye she seen this shape get up and walk over to the door. She now started to get nervous she was a young female late at night out on the street...what if this guy was a murderer or rapist. She began to walk, fast when she heard a voice call out to her "Sarah?".
She stopped but did not turn around as she couldn't figure out who this person was...she thought bout his voice if she recognized it, nothing.
"Sarah!" He yelled louder.
She turned and realized who this person was with the dark hair standing a good 6' in height wearing a long coat drenched with rain.
"John? Oh my I haven't seen you in years what have you been up to? What brings you to this small city?"
She then realized that she had asked way too many questions, she began to giggle uncontrollably.
"I am so sorry for bombarding you, you just surprised me is all."
"It's ok Sarah I am actually glad to see you. I have been thinking a lot about you lately."
"You have?"
She said surprised, since the last time they saw each other they were standing at the Alter her in a beautiful flowing wedding gown with real pearls stitched threw it and a vail to die for. Then there was John dressed in a suit that made his deep blue eyes stand out and his dark hair was lightly tussled as he was nervous. Then she remembered what happened just as they were to start their vows....she looked into those deep eyes and said in the most honest way possible that she couldn't get married this day.
That was basically the last she had seen of him, their relationship afterwards had never been the same again, he couldn't understand why she didn't go through with it if she loved him as he had no doubt in his mind he loved her otherwise he wouldn't have proposed.
"How have you been Sarah? I have missed you."
She looked at him and couldn't tell him that she hadn't been doing anything important and every night she cried herself to sleep for making the biggest mistake of her life, letting this man go and not stopping him no matter how many chances he had given her to explain what was going on.
"You know, this and that. I started a new job at the newspaper in town. Just an editor but I am having fun."
"That's good Sarah I am happy for you."
He hadn't been happy since the day he had moved out of their place they had built together, the memories they had made and the place he had hoped they would raise their children in. He missed holding her but she had broken his heart the day she told him at the Alter she couldn't marry him without explanation. He was uncertain whether he could do that again.
"Sarah I think we need to talk, in fact I have been trying to figure out how to get a hold of you and talk to you about that day."
"I know John, I have been thinking that as well, I just don't know what to tell you or how to explain something I don't even understand."
He took her by the arm and led her inside the Diner where it was dry and warm. She sat down at the booth he had been sitting at when he stepped over to the gentlemen behind the counter and ordered them both coffee's, he didn't have to ask how she liked it as he still remember even after all this time how she took her coffee. He came back to the table and sat down across from her, just starring at her wondering what had happened between them.
"John..."
"Sarah, please let me go first there are some things I have been wanting to tell you for a very long time and have not been practicing on how to say them and what words to use."
"Sarah." He took her hands in his and he continued.
"I have loved you since the day I laid eyes on you at college that first semester or Journalism class. I knew that moment when you walked in all uncertain and holding your books tight that I would love you forever no matter what would happen between us. That still holds true no matter what happened that day in church I will never stop loving you. Now I wanna explain to you why I left."
"John please." She had tears flowing down her cheeks holding his hand she remembered that day oh so well it almost pained her to go back to that moment.
"John please let me explain as I am the one that started all this that day not you. You did the right thing by leaving me as neither one of us was the same again afterwards. I do love you, John that is the first thing I want to say. I have never stopped loving you and I wanted nothing more then to be your wife, but I realized something that day standing at the Alter, all of our family's there and friends the priest. I realized that I am not worthy of such a wonderful man, there are things about me John that you don't know, in fact no one knows."
"Sarah, whatever it is, you know I will stand beside you no matter what. You are the perfect one for me always have been, no matter what you think you did or did wrong I am sure it's nothing."
"John, no you don't understand I have done something horrible that I don't think you will ever see me the same way again."
"What is it Sarah, please your breaking my heart by not telling me."
She took a deep breath and just jumped head first.
"John, when I was 15 I gave birth to a little girl. I gave her up for adoption as it was wrong for a young girl of that age to have a child and to raise it. No man would want me if I had a child. Well that day I realized when we were standing at that Alter that I could not get married with this secret hanging over our lives. I always had dreamed that someday I could find my little girl and have her be my Maid of honor at my Wedding. She was tore out of my hands in the hospital. I never got to say goodbye."
"Oh Sarah." He came around the booth and took her in his arms. He just held her and weeped with her.
"Sarah, I love you and we can get through this together, you are never alone as long as I am in your heart."
"John, I feel so horrible for making you feel the way you have, pushing you away, hurting you."
He holds her closer and gently brushing her hair back. He pulls up her chin so her mouth aligns with his. He looks deep into her eyes to show her how much he loves her and will never leave her again no matter how hard she pushes him. He kisses her gently, the taste of tears against his lips knowing now that everything will be fine from now on.
She has craved his touch his kiss for so long and there it was, the acceptance of her secret and her shame finally she felt free to love once again openly and never again would she be afraid of what the uncertainty would hold.
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